There once was a small group of fairies that were completely orange. They would often gaze in a mirror at themselves because they adored the color orange and believed that they were the most beautiful of all fairies. They never wasted a chance to tell all the other fairies of the forest just how beautiful they were. They never wasted a chance to try to make the other fairies jealous. After all, they reasoned, they were orange, and what fairy would not want to be orange?
The trouble is there were a lot more fairies in the forest
who were not orange, and what’s more,
they had no desire to be orange. They were all getting very tired of hearing
about how ugly they were and how beautiful the orange fairies were. Of course, this was all told to them by the orange
fairies, so you might imagine there was a bit of bias in the telling. In any event, they had all decided that
they’d had enough of the bragging from the orange fairies.
Eventually, an argument between the groups of fairies broke
out with the orange fairies screaming horrible insults at the other fairies,
and the other fairies hurtling acorns back at the orange fairies. It was a terrible ruckus, and through it all
the orange fairies kept chanting over and over about how beautiful they were
and how ugly all the other fairies in the land were. On and on it went until every creature of the
forest had to block its ears just to have any peace.
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| Amanita muscaria (fly agaric). |
Now it happened that a peapod pixie was nearby, trying to
take a nap when the fight broke out. He
tried to block his ears, but as you know, peapod pixies have very sensitive
ears and nothing he did would help at all.
At last he crept out from under his leaf, and while all the fairies were
screaming and yelling at one another, he tossed a beautiful gold goblet right
into the middle of the area with the most fighting. At once, all of the fairies were silent as
they stared at the stunning gold goblet.
Then in a very loud and booming voice he said, “Only the kindest may
drink from this goblet!” Of course no
one knew where the voice came from because peapod pixies are so tiny that no
one pays them any mind.
All eyes were on the gold goblet. Each group wanted the goblet for themselves,
but no group wanted to engage in serious warfare to get it because warfare
between fairies can last several centuries at least and sometimes an eon. Finally, an old and plain fairy came forward
from the group of regular woodland fairies and he said, “Let us all go back to
our homes and decide upon the best gift for one another. In three days’ time, whichever side gives the
gift that is kindest and truly from the heart gets to keep the goblet.”
The fairies all agreed upon this, and the woodland forest
fairies all left together talking about what might be the best gift. Some said a fairy harp that played heavenly music
on its own. Others said a fairy cow that
never stopped giving sweet milk. Still
others talked about forging a beautiful sword with an enchanted hilt that could
protect its owner from any assault that man might make. And off they all went in deep conversation.
The peapod pixie smiled to himself and was about to go back
to his leaf for his nap when he overheard the orange fairies talking. “Let us make a beautiful bowl and fill it to
the brim with the sweetest-tasting wine they have ever had, but let this wine
be laced with a potion that will turn them all into toads!” All of the orange fairies laughed at this and
delighted in the chance to rid themselves once and for all of the other
woodland fairies.
Now, the peapod pixie was quite angry at this, and that
takes some doing as anyone who knows peapod pixies can tell you. All he wanted was his nap, and now the orange
fairies were planning the demise of all the others. This would never do. He had hoped to begin an era of kindness and
giving among the fairies, not treachery, and so he decided on what he would do
in three days’ time. Then he settled
down under his leaf for a long nap.
Sure enough in three days’ time, all of the fairies met at
the spot where the beautiful gold goblet still stood. The regular woodland fairies presented their
gift first. It was a pretty little cow
that they had enchanted to give the sweetest milk whenever desired. As you know, fairies love milk and this why
we leave saucers of it outside for them at certain times of the year. The orange fairies were skeptical, but the
woodland fairies insisted they try the milk.
True to their word, it was the sweetest and best milk the orange fairies
had ever tasted. They were beside themselves with greed and
lustily drank milk for a very long time.
At last it was time for the orange fairies to give their
gift, and they brought forward the beautiful bowl filled with sweet wine. “One taste of this intoxicating wine, and you
will never be the same!” they said. Of
course, this was true but not in the way the woodland fairies thought. They all came forward to sample the wine, and
as they did so, the peapod pixie created a brilliant flash of lightning and
yelled the magic word, “Amanita!” While all
the fairies gazed at the lightning, he quickly switched the poisoned wine in
the bowl with the delicious wine he had placed in the gold goblet.
So the woodland fairies came forward and all drank the wine
from the beautiful bowl. They could not
stop exclaiming at how wonderful and amazing this wine truly was! Over and over they sang the praises of the
orange fairies and their skill at wine-making.
All along, the orange fairies giggled to themselves at how gullible the
woodland fairies were and how they couldn’t wait to see them all turned into
toads.
Finally, the old and plain fairy, who had suggested they all
make the best gift they could, came forward.
“Truly, your gift is the best,” he said, “and we are very grateful. Surely, this gold goblet belongs to you.” All of the woodland fairies cheered and
agreed. All of the orange fairies smiled
and laughed as they approached the gold goblet.
Each orange fairy drank his fill of the sweet and voluptuous
wine in the goblet. They drank and drank
and drank until they could drink no more.
While the orange fairies were drinking their victory wine from the gold
goblet, the woodland fairies were drinking their gifted wine from the beautiful
bowl. Things got loud and cheerful as
they often do when fairies are drinking wine, so none of the woodland fairies
noticed for quite some time that a change had occurred. At last they decided to take a break.
Imagine their surprise when they turned around and saw the
forest floor peppered with strange orange mushrooms with warty white spots on
top! No one could deny that these
mushrooms were beautiful to look at, yes, enchanting, in fact. They were fat and fleshy and looked
delectable. None of them had seen
mushrooms like this before, so while they all wanted to eat them, they were a
bit cautious. At last one of them
decided to try a mushroom.
He took a bite. It
had a strange flavor to it, not particularly pleasant, but he ate the rest of
it anyway. Within a few minutes,
however, he felt very nauseous. In fact,
he felt extremely nauseous, and it was a terrible feeling, but eventually that
passed. Then he felt very odd. It was as if he heard a voice inside of his
own head, and he could talk to this voice and it would answer back. So he asked it all kinds of difficult questions
and received all kinds of answers.
Eventually, that faded too. Then
he felt a bit odd and saw colors in a strange way and heard sounds that he had
never heard before. He felt very
disoriented for a while. Finally, it all
passed, and when it finished he described it to all the other fairies.
They listened very well and realized that these were truly
magic mushrooms they had found. They
decided to be very careful and cautious with these mushrooms, using them
sparingly in ritualistic ways. They gathered
them and dried them and put them away in secret spots.
Oddly enough, they never saw the orange fairies again. I can honestly say that no one was so very
upset about that in any event. Each
year, however, they noticed that the strange orange mushrooms would appear for
a few months all over the forest floor.
They decided to call them “Amanitas” after the strange word they had
heard with the flash of lightning at the gathering. They decided it was a good word.
And that is why to this very day, you will see Amanitas all
over the forest floor at this time of year.
You will also notice that many of the mushrooms will have a nibble taken
out of them here and there. Those are
fairy nibbles, and not far from nibbled Amanitas, you can usually find a peapod
pixie fast asleep under a leaf. If you
nibble on an Amanita, don’t be surprised if the peapod pixie jumps up on your
shoulder for a chat.
[This is a fairy tale, and in no way does the author imply
or suggest that you ever nibble on an
Amanita as they can be poisonous. Leave them for the fairies.]
