December 31, 2014 - The Threshold

In desperation and worry, a young girl traveled to a soothsayer who lived by the water’s edge in an underground cavern.  It was said that if you brought your troubles to him, the soothsayer would always give you answers.  You might not like them, but he would always give them, and some answers are certainly better than none at all.  The girl traveled to see him because she was beside herself with indecision.  She couldn’t decide where to live.  She couldn’t decide if she should marry the boy who proposed to her.  She couldn’t decide if she should take a job as a maid in a very stately home.  The more she thought about the decisions before her, the more she trembled with fear.

She went to the soothsayer out of desperation and as a last ditch effort.  The path to his underground chamber was well traveled, although she met no one on the path, and she knew that many people came to see him.  At least I am not alone, she thought.  She was relieved that others went for answers as well because, the truth of it was, she was uncomfortable going to see him as she had heard he was a wizard.  She didn’t like anything that made her feel unsafe, and wizards were about as uncertain as things could get.

But desperation drove her on and she arrived at the entrance to his cavern.  She sat outside and waited because she couldn’t decide if she should go in or not.  There she sat for many hours until the sun dipped low on the horizon.  The wind picked up and she felt very cold, so she started a fire with the driftwood she found all over the beach.  Of course, the wizard had seen her waiting all those hours but was not about to go outside if she couldn’t even knock.  However, once she started the fire and the flames of the driftwood rose in odd blue and green shades, as driftwood flames are known to do, he felt compelled to go outside.  Even wizards have their weak spots.

The entrance to the wizard's cavern.

“Well, what is it?” he asked.  “I haven’t got all night!”

“Oh!  I didn’t know you were there,” she said.  “I need some answers to some terrible problems I’m having.”

“I will help you with three problems,” the wizard said, sitting closer to the colorful driftwood flames.

So the girl told him about her first problem, which was being unable to decide where to live.  An opportunity had come up for her to get her own little home, but she didn’t know if she should leave her mother’s house.  After all, anything could happen, and what if she couldn’t pay for her home?  Or if she didn’t like it?  Or if there were a fire?

The wizard told her to look into the flames and slowly repeat her problem, which she did.  To her surprise, within the flames she saw a doorway, and she saw herself standing on the threshold of it.  On one side was her mother’s house.  On the other was her own home.  Both sides looked equally nice, and each had their own set of limitations.  Both had comfort, and each had loneliness and routine.

“What should I choose?” she asked the wizard.

“You must walk through the doorway,” he said.

“Which way should I go?”

“I cannot choose it for you.  You must choose,” said the wizard.

The girl was very frightened and uncomfortable, and she stepped back from the doorway.  As she did so, it faded away and she saw only the colored flames of the driftwood again.

“What about my second problem, then?” she asked.  “Should I marry the boy who proposed to me?  I can’t decide if I should or not.  What if we don’t have children?  What if he doesn’t love me?  What if I fall in love with someone else?  What if he dies?  What then?  What should I do?”

Again, the wizard told her to look into the flames and slowly repeat her problem, which she did.  And again, within the flames she saw a doorway, and she saw herself standing on the threshold of it.  On one side was the boy who had proposed to her.  She could see a home they lived in and some children in the distance.  She could see hardships and joys, triumphs and losses.  On the other side of the door, she could see safety and familiarity.  She could see comfort and boredom, resignation and acceptance, warmth and ease.

Once again, she asked the wizard which way she should choose, and yet again he told her he could not make the choice for her but could only show her the possibilities.  She stood on the threshold of the doorway for a long time, trembling terribly with her fear.  She felt she could not move her feet one way or another.  It was as though she was glued to the threshold.  Then suddenly, the door shut and the image faded in the fire.

“My third problem?  Can you help with it?” she asked.  She proceeded to tell him all about the job as a maid in a very fine home.  It would be quite a step up for her in her social standing as she was only the daughter of a farmhand.  But she was petrified to make a decision.  What if she didn’t like the job?  What if she were fired and given a bad reference?  What if there was a better job somewhere else?  What if she didn’t like the people she worked with?

For a third time, the wizard told her to look into the flames and slowly repeat her problem, which she did.  And for a third time, within the flames she saw a doorway, and she saw herself standing on the threshold of it.  On one side was the stately manor house, and she could see herself in service there, making a decent living.  She could see herself traveling occasionally with the people she served and seeing many new wonderful and terrible things in the world.  On the other side of the door, she could see other employment closer to home.  She could see things that put her at ease, simple things she knew.  She could see longing and unfulfillment, yet satisfaction for a simple job well done.

For a third time, she asked the wizard which way she should choose, and for a third time he told her he could not make the choice for her but could only show her the possibilities.  She stood there, looking at first one side and then the other.  Her heart wanted both but her mind knew she could have only one.  She was afraid of being a nobody her whole life, but she was even more afraid of the sophisticated girl she saw on the other side of the door.  She faltered in her low self-esteem and slowly she backed away.  As she did so, the door faded away and she saw only the colored flames of the driftwood again.

“No more questions,” the wizard said flatly.

“But you haven’t helped me with anything!” she yelled.

“On the contrary.  I showed you both sides of your choices.”

“But I don’t know which to choose!!” she shouted at the top of her lungs.

“On the contrary, again.  You have already made your choices.  You had three doorways to walk through, and each time you failed to walk through when a doorway was presented to you.  Each time, you chose to let your fear overwhelm you.  Each time, you chose to let your doubt stop you.  Each time, you chose a simpler route.  You made your choices all on your own,” said the wizard.

“But those weren’t real choices,” she spat at him, fury written all over her face.

“Oh, but they were, my dear,” he said.  “Every day is a choice.  Every day presents something new.  But if you repeatedly turn down your opportunities, they will grow less and less until only the most mundane options are available from which to choose.  Once a doorway closes, it closes.  It will not open again.  Once a decision is made, it is made.  And remember that not to decide is still a decision.”

The girl left angry without saying one more word to the wizard.  He just smiled and looked back at the enchanting blue and green flames of the driftwood.  She walked back to her home in the dark.  The moon was full and she could see the path.  It was the last day of the year.  Tomorrow would start a brand new year.  She wondered if she should get up earlier than she ever had and venture outside and see the world from the perspective of a brand new day.  But it's cold outside, she thought to herself.  Maybe some other time.