I keep trying to capture him now. I run after him, looking for him everywhere. I stalk him. I go to his hangouts. I find out the places where he’s supposed to show up, and I make every excuse to accidentally end up there. I watch him when he’s not looking. I hide behind buildings, trees, even other people so that if he happens to glance in my direction, he won’t see me. But I’m there. I’m always there these days, watching for him, looking for a sign of his presence.
I can’t be sure, but I think he knows I’m looking for him. Sometimes he turns around really quickly and glares in my direction, and I only just barely have enough time to duck behind shelter. Then he rakes his eyes back and forth in a searching and accusing manner while I remain hidden. If he were to see me at this time, if he were to know that I was pining away for him, he’d leave the land for several days, perhaps even weeks, as a punishment.
I only behave this way when he ignores me. As soon as he pays attention to me, I feign surprise because I don’t want his ego to get too big. I don’t want him to know how much I need him. I don’t want him to know how much I think about him and how much he affects my life. Eventually he’ll come around looking for me, longing for me once again as he always does, but if he finds out now that I’ve been after him, he’ll lord it over me until I simply suffocate. Truly, there is nothing worse than a pompous star.
|Stalking the early morning sun.|