[This is Part IV of “On Being a Seed.” Click Part I, Part II, and Part III for the prior episodes.]
Now there was only one thought on my mind: the land of liquid gold. I had to have it. I drove myself upward in a fury. When I encountered any obstacle, I either bore a hole straight through it or I sent my tendrils around it. I was on a bizarre mission, and I could see the furtive glances from the denizens of the Underworld. There was a look of anxiety in their eyes because I was going where they could not. And there was jealousy, too. There was steaming, jealous anger.
But I didn’t care. I drove myself upward relentlessly, eating everything in my path that I could. As I ate, I grew stronger, and the water dancer seemed pleased. Horrified, but pleased. I was no longer her slave, to do with as she wanted, pushing me this way and that. Now when we talked, it was as old friends, and she gave up trying to drown me. At least, it seemed that way, but later I learned things about her which made my heart go cold. She is a shape-shifter, that one, but that is for another story.
|Bright blazing, He.|
Finally, I instinctively knew that I was right near the hidden upper world. One more knock against the hard ceiling and it would smash to smithereens. I was the destroyer. I stopped for a moment and looked around myself. The denizens of the Underworld were watching me. Some were scurrying away quickly. Many others were cowering in a corner. But there was a sizeable group that just watched me from a distance with a knowing look in their eyes. There was jealousy, yes, but I thought I saw mockery as well. Hunger, too.
It was too late to teach them a lesson for their insolence, though. I was at the defining moment, and I was not about to lose the land of liquid gold, the place for which I had hungered incessantly. I told myself that if I ever came back to the Underworld, I would find those who had mocked me and I would devour them. (But I was younger then.)
At last the time arrived. I pulled as much strength into myself as I could, and then I smashed right through that hard ceiling. And what did I see? Well, what I saw changed everything.
In the first second I saw the liquid gold. It was everywhere, just as the water dancer had said. I was in awe as I turned my head upward to where I imagined the source of the gold might be. And then I saw Him. He was unlike anything I had seen or known before. In a million years, I could not have imagined such magnificence, such shining brilliance. I had seen the King.
Truly, this was a God! The idea entered my mind for the first time that there was a Master of the universe, and perhaps I was looking at Him. I felt searing, burning, horrible pain in my eyes from the brilliance of this being, and yet I could not tear myself away from looking at Him for even a moment, so beautiful He was.
And then I felt tiny, so very, very tiny. I felt insignificant. I felt that I was nothing but a worthless wisp of Underworld. And what was the Underworld compared to this incredible sight? I wished for a moment that the water dancer would appear and just drown me, but she was nowhere in sight. I was alone and tiny and useless, and I turned my head downward in sorrow. I looked away from the brilliance because I thought I was not good enough for it.
What happened next, I will never forget. This magnificent being put His hand under my chin and raised my head up and said, ever so gently and sweetly, “Rise up, little one.”
I felt an indescribable, beautiful warmth unlike anything I had ever felt before. It filled my whole being, and I cried and cried. How is it that a dirty wisp from the Underworld could have caught the attention of such a magnificent King? It was beyond my comprehension at the time. The King—the God!—was talking to me, had noticed me.
“You are no longer just a seed,” he said. “See, I give you the Light. I have chosen you for Myself. Now you are Mine.”
Then He kissed me and gave me a shiny green ribbon and told me to wear it joyfully in my hair, which I immediately did. It was the first color I had ever seen, and even though I would go on to see many more beautiful colors, green has always remained my favorite. For the first time I could remember, I thought I might be beautiful. I was so happy.
The land of liquid gold was nothing like I had thought it would be, and the King, well, He was certainly not what I had expected. Nothing could have prepared me for this beautiful and humbling land. I felt foolish, even stupid. But I was able to let go of that soon enough because nothing could dull the joy I felt upon having met the King and having received my green ribbon.
Imagine my surprise, though, when I looked around and saw other tiny wisps emerging from the Underworld! The King stopped at each and every one of them—every single one—and kissed them and gave them a shiny green ribbon, just as He had done with me. I felt a cold stab of jealousy in my heart. I wanted the King all for myself! I could see the rapture in every emerging wisp around me, and I knew that they thought and felt the same thing I did. All the love and admiration was in their eyes. And so was the jealousy.
We looked guardedly at one another. This was not going to be easy. I made a decision to continue to painfully grow, and I raised my head upward toward the King. There was much to do and not much time in which to do it.